Our pregnancy journey.

I can't believe it!!!!!! We are beyond excited to have a new addition to our little family. And yes we are totally crazy and going to wait till the little baby is born to find out the gender. I have ALWAYS told myself that's how I wanted to do it. It's like the one surprise in life you can almost loose your breath to. Sam is still not so excited about it and we might/might not end up letting him find out [and swear not to tell anyone] but I'm hoping he will get more excited with the idea as time goes by and wait to find out with me! 

I want to share our journey and thoughts as time goes by and the anticipation builds. I'll start from the beginning...

I have pretty much been ready/wanting to have kids since the day we were married. Lol! If you know me you know I'm drawn to children. Sam and I have always talked about it and figured we would start having kids sooner then later [hence the fact we couldn't wait till we were in a house to get a puppy kid] It was about 5 months ago we decided to start trying. At first, we didn't really try to specifically time it all out, because I think we might've been still a little scared! It was about 2 months into trying that I was having some very strong promptings that now is the time. I was sooooo scared and almost trying to convince myself that it was really just my own thoughts and not Heavenly Father trying to tell me that IT'S TIME. I just kept having these promptings and they were so loud and clear. One morning I called my sweet sister-in-law Lindsay. I told her about the feelings I was having and talked to her about one of our main concerns, which may sound crazy, but it's just one of those things... Money. The word newlywed pretty much always goes hand in hand with the word poor. Lol. Sam and I would freak out about the fact of having a baby in the picture and not being able to provide 
financially for ourselves. Lindsay said all the right things to help me be at ease with the financial aspect of it all. And she also told me about her experiences with getting promptings and her friends experiences as well. It was a conversation I hold dear to my heart and will always remember. The next day I came across this quote...

 

It was like a final slap in the face that there was no reason for us to be waiting around for another answer. We just needed to listen. 

A couple weeks later Sam and I went to the temple together. The second I sat down I got SO emotional and was filled with so much happiness. As tears filled my eyes, I knew that was Heavenly Father telling me to not be scared and that it was all going to be okay as we took heed to the promoting.

So we began to start timing things better and figuring out ways to help with fertility. At this point it all became emotional. Each month when the test would come back negative I was really sad. It's weird how something I was so scared of before was turning into the only thing I wanted and could even really think about. It's like everyday, I would google 'first signs of pregnancy' to figure out if my tummy ache or head ache meant I was pregnant. Hahaha Sam would tell me to stop getting so worked up about it all. He actually sat me down one day and told me stop allowing negative test results get me down because it's not worth stressing over and to just have faith that Heavenly Father would watch over us and allow it to happen when the time was right. I remembered a quote I had written down in the past by Neal L. Maxwell "Faith in God includes faith in his timing." When I was able to stop letting the idea of getting pregnant consume my everyday thoughts and just know that it was going to happen when the timing was right, I was able to go throughout my days happily and stress free.

Dieting plays a huge roll in trying to convince. I started to plan out meals with all the foods that are good for men and women to eat while trying. I also started to take prenatal vitamins because women should actually start taking them before getting pregnant to get all those vitamins and nutrients they contain for the fetus to form properly. It helps majorly with the development of the baby.

There was a month when my period was late 5 days and I was soooo sure I was pregnant. I took the test. Negative. And of course my period came the next day. Tears and more tears. I was just so sad/ frustrated/confused all at the same time. 

The next month we got word from Lindsay and Eddie that they were having another baby! I was so excited for them yet so so so jealous. 

In September my boobs were sooooooooooo sore [sorry if some of this is TMI] Of course, I'm over here googling if that means anything. First. Sign. Of. Pregnancy. Boy, was I getting excited/nervous! After two weeks of that I decided to just take a test before my period to find out. I was over waiting to see if Aunt Flow was gonna come that month. 

POSITIVE!!!!! I couldn't believe it!! [And really, I still can't.] I have always had all these cute ideas of how I was gonna tell Sam but I just couldn't wait! I went to target and bought a pack of diapers and some [gender neutral] onesies. When he got home from work I took him upstairs and gave them to him. He looked at me and said "Are you serious?" I started balling and kissing and hugging him and he kept saying "I love you, I love you". We fell so much more in love in that moment.  

He made me promise not to tell ANYONE. [But of course, I had to tell my Mom because I call her everyday and she is my best best friend, there is no way that I couldve kept that from her for very long. And I told my friend Katie because she always knows the right things to say to calm my nerves.]

So here we are. Ready for the next stage in our lives. [or maybe not so ready😬] I can't not wait for the baby to be here and all the blessing that will come with it. 

Stick around and I'll be sure to keep you all updated!!